How to Make Your Ex Bf More Confident in You and Your Relationship Again

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Getting an ex to fall for you again may seem like an impossible task, merely it is possible. To get your ex to fall for you lot again, you need to recollect well-nigh what killed the relationship in the first identify, then notice ways to put your best cocky on brandish. You volition likewise take to talk to your ex about your feelings and what you lot want to practise most them at some point.

1. 1

   Go on your distance. While you are deciding whether or not y'all desire to go dorsum together with your ex, you should non be in contact with them. It is important to have no contact with your ex to deal with your emotions, procedure the breakup, and gear up to movement on. Even if yous decide that you want to become dorsum together, you will still need time to yourself so will your ex.^[one]

   Tip: Don't text your ex or answer to text messages from them until you feel you have had adequate time to procedure your breakup. This may be hard, but it is for the best.

2. two

   Decide if your ex is available. Before you endeavour to determine if getting back together with your ex is the right decision, you may want to find out if your ex is fifty-fifty available. If it has been a while since the 2 of you bankrupt up, and so your ex may be seeing someone else. In this case, you may be better off pursuing relationships with other people instead.

   • Don't try to reunite with your ex if they are seeing someone else. But pursue your own interests, see other people, and be patient.^[2]

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3. 3

   Consider why you want your ex dorsum. While the relationship may accept been great, sometimes it really is better to allow a relationship or old partner go. Before y'all start trying to go your ex back, consider your reasons for wanting to exercise so.

   • Some good reasons to get back together include: your timing was off the first time you were together, you needed more than time to get over a previous human relationship, or you have adult a new appreciation for what your ex provided for you.^[3]
   • Some bad reasons to try to become back with your ex include: you're scared of being alone (of form you're lonely after a relationship goes south, but that doesn't hateful you should plunge correct back into that human relationship); y'all miss the familiar (again, there'south no issue with this feeling, only it doesn't mean you lot should get back together); y'all're jealous of their new relationship (once again, a totally allowable feeling, simply not a practiced basis for a fresh relationship attempt).
   • You should enlist a trusted friend, family fellow member, or therapist, to consider why you lot want to go back with your ex. They will assistance you tease out some less-than-stellar reasons and perchance help you lot movement on.

4. iv

   Determine if the relationship was healthy and worth reviving. In addition to because your reasons for wanting to reunite with your ex, you should too consider the relationship overall to determine if it is worth reviving. If you broke upwardly because the relationship was bad for one or both of you, and then y'all may want to take some more time to consider whether it is worth reviving.

   • For example, if yous fought all of the time and did non savour spending time together, and then the human relationship is probably non worth reviving.

5. 5

   Make a list of pros and cons if y'all are unsure. If you have a lot of mixed feelings about why you want to become dorsum together and if the relationship is worth reviving, effort making a list of pros and cons to aid you determine. Be honest with yourself every bit you make this listing and don't omit anything considering it seems small-scale or insignificant. List everything you can to get a good picture of the relationship and make a conclusion.^[4]

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1. 1

   Focus on yourself. Even if you are 100% sure that you want to go back together with your ex, information technology is important to take fourth dimension to focus on yourself commencement of all. Apply the extra time that you have to better yourself and getting dorsum with your ex may come easier as a result. Some things you might practise to focus on you lot include:^[5]

   • Taking up a new hobby.
   • Improving your health with a new do and diet regimen.
   • Starting a journal to tape your thoughts and feelings.
   • Spending more time with your friends.

2. 2

   Deed casual. It is important not to seem desperate if you lot want to get your ex dorsum. Therefore, you should not let them know right away that you are interested in getting back together. Doing then may frighten your ex off and ruin your chances of reviving the relationship.^[6]

   Tip: Take enough of time before contacting your ex again. If you bump into your ex by accident, just act casual. Don't let on that yous are interested in getting back together.

3. 3

   Reestablish contact. Transport your ex a text message to reestablish contact with them. Texts are ideal considering they are more casual than a telephone telephone call or email. Texts are besides less likely to be shared or discussed, and then it is a more private mode to communicate with your ex.^[7]

   • Keep the bulletin calorie-free and casual. Don't say annihilation intense like, "I tin't alive without you." Tell your ex well-nigh something funny that happened to you lot or something interesting that reminded you of your ex.^[8]
   • Brand sure that you are sober when you reconnect with your ex. Drunk texts or calls are a recipe for disaster.

4. four

   Run into up for java or lunch. The best time to encounter upwardly with an ex again is during the 24-hour interval because it will seem less serious than a dark meeting. Ask your ex if they would similar to meet upwardly with you for coffee or lunch. This volition give you a risk to catch upwardly, suspension the ice, and decide if you want to proceed pursuing a reconciliation with your ex or not.^[9]

   • Don't say anything about getting dorsum together during your kickoff coming together. Just have a nice, fun chat together and leave it at that for now.
   • Make sure that you look fantastic when you lot commencement meet upward over again. Looking your best will help you to experience confident and it will make it more likely that your ex will desire to get back together with you lot.

5. 5

   Remind your ex of happy memories. Talking about happy memories is a good way to rekindle an old flame. Past reminding your ex of happy fourth dimension that you shared, you will assistance them to see the skilful in your human relationship and experience more open up to reconciliation.^[10]

   Keep in mind that you will take to talk about the bad parts of your relationship at some bespeak too, just relish talking almost happy memories in the beginning.

6. half dozen

   Put your best assets on brandish. As you endeavor to get your ex to autumn for y'all again, yous should consider the things that attracted them to you in the start identify and expect for means to showcase them. For example, if your ex was start attracted to you because of your sense of humour, find ways to brand them laugh. Or, if your ex e'er admired your cooking skills, find a fashion to casually mention something y'all cooked recently.^[11]

7. seven

   Exist patient. Although information technology may be hard, yous demand to be very patient when y'all first start talking to your ex once again. If your ex does not respond to your first text, don't keep texting in an endeavor to get them to answer. Just expect and see if they reply. If not, then try again in a few days.^[12]

8. 8

   Scout for signs of interest. If your ex has non responded to any of your texts and/or seems cold other times that you have talked to them, then information technology is safe to assume that reuniting is non an option right at present. But if your ex seems warm, friendly, and excited to hear from you, and then you may have a shot.

   Just make sure that you practise not set your expectations too high even if the signs seem very positive. It is possible that your ex is just being nice.

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1. ane

   Say what is on your mind. At some point, you will have to tell your ex how you experience and what you want to practise well-nigh it. Having this conversation may exist awkward, only if your ex has not brought upwards the possibility of getting back together, and then you may have to do it yourself. Brand sure that you indicate a willingness to work on things and a clear interest in getting dorsum together.^[13]

   Try saying something similar, "Since nosotros have had some time apart, I've really grown and I recall that I'd like to give our relationship another chance. Does that interest you at all?"

2. 2

   Be prepared to talk about what went incorrect the first fourth dimension y'all were together. It is inevitable that you lot and your ex volition discuss the reasons why you broke up in the offset identify. Your ex may be skeptical of your growth or willingness to alter, then you may have to reassure them. Brand sure that you are prepared to talk nearly what y'all have washed or will do to make sure that the human relationship does not hit the same snags the 2d fourth dimension effectually.^[14]

3. 3

   Commit to modify. If you say that yous are going to work on certain things or commit to change yourself in some style, be prepared to really do the things that you promised you would practise. If you lot practice not follow through, so the relationship may soon end over again. Brand sure that you lot and your partner are clear on what you both need to work on and that you follow through.^{[15] [16]}

4. 4

   Anticipate rejection. In some cases, reconciliation is but not possible. If your ex is unwilling to give it another effort, respect them for being honest with you and don't pressure or harass them to get dorsum with you. Chances are that you both demand more fourth dimension or that the relationship just is not worth reviving.^[17]

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Add New Question

• Question

  How do I go my ex to desire me again?

  

  Jessica Engle is a relationship coach and psychotherapist based in the San Francisco Bay Surface area. She founded Bay Area Dating Coach in 2009, after receiving her Principal's in Counseling Psychology. Jessica is likewise a licensed Matrimony & Family Therapist and Registered Drama Therapist with over 10 years of experience.

  

  Relationship Coach

  Good Answer

  You can't e'er make anyone fall in love with you, whether they're an ex or not. If you've broken up with someone, it'due south generally a expert idea to move on. If yous do determine to effort and rebuild that relationship, yous'd but want to be really honest with yourself and know that you're taking a risk with your heart.

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• If you lot feel every bit you are coming on also strong, you probably are. Only ease up a little and relax.

• Try not to be pushy. Brand them recall you're non there for attention but considering you care.

• Make sure that the other person is ready for a relationship. They might have cleaved up with you due to personal reasons, and sometimes being friends with them is best for both people.

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• I thing to keep in mind when trying to get back with an ex - if information technology doesn't work out or if your ex doesn't want you lot back, don't force it. Retrieve that you are worth being with somebody who wants to be with you, and y'all don't have to trail after somebody who doesn't!

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Article Summary Ten

Getting your ex back might not be easy, but you can give yourself the best chance past playing it cool and finding ways to reconnect with them. To avoid scaring your ex away, act coincidental if you crash-land into them, and give it some time earlier you lot try to contact them again. Once you go dorsum in bear on with them, go along things light by chatting about daily events or things that are happening at schoolhouse or work. If you lot determine to run across up, ask your ex if they'd like to take coffee or lunch, which seems less serious than evening plans. During your time together, show off your all-time qualities, like your quirky sense of sense of humor or your empathy, to remind your ex why they fell for you lot to begin with. To learn how to talk to your ex nigh getting dorsum together, continue reading!

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